He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
