the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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