He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
