and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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