My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
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