im gay
i know
yea but for you.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
