halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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