Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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