we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize