So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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