The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID