Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level