Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You dont lie about slip and slides
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
