i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
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I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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