woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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