Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I have fence marks all over my body
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
