So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
