Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
