i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
