Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
