Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
