Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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