WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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