just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
