weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
