dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize