My hand turned me down
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
