Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
