just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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