please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
