your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
