I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
