his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
