There was a lot of him and a little penis
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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