Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
