he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
