If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
