life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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