No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
