I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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