Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
