you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
