So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
