is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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