Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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