is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
