I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
