i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize