We won't sleep together?
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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