I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
