dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize