i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
