Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
