Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I supernannyed him into submission
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
