you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
