Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
