After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize