Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
