R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
