yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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