ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
