the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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